


Jay’s rage

by Sa1989



Category: Chicago Fire, Chicago Med, Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:54:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24663421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sa1989/pseuds/Sa1989
Summary: Sequel to jay’s pain
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	Jay’s rage

**Author's Note:**

> This is the final part in this series. Hope you like it

Will had just woke up and smiled when he saw Hannah still asleep besides him. Sometimes he would laid awake just watching her sleep because of how beautiful she was, just then his alarm clock went off and the spell was broken.  
“Good morning” Hanna said in a sleepy voice before kissing will. Will kissed her back before sighing and getting up for a shower. While will was in the shower Hannah started the coffee machine and grabbed the newspaper from her door step. Hannah and will had been together for awhile and they had worked out a morning routine. while will had the first shower Hannah would get the coffee ready and bring in the paper, then will would cook breakfast while Hannah had her shower. Will came into the kitchen after getting dressed and kissed her before she went to have her shower. Will was just preparing to make eggs and bacon when his eyes fell on the newspaper and he stopped dead because on the front page was a photo of Colin carter and the headline read local paedophile from dead. Will picked up the paper and read the article while a feeling of dread settled in his stomach. A part of will was glad carter was dead because of all the pain he had caused but mostly he was worried that jay had some kind of involvement in carter death. Will was so caught up in his own thoughts he didn’t even hear Hannah come back to the kitchen.  
“Hey, where’s breakfast?” Hannah asked in a playful tone but fell silent when she saw how grimm will looked, will jumped at the sound of her voice and said “sorry but I have to go” with that will left the flat without another word. Will tried calling jay while driving to the police station but got no answer. Will couldn’t help but remember back to when James had killed himself, he was only 13 at the time so he didn’t really understand what was going on at the time. All he knew was that his cousin had committed suicide and that carter had something to do with it. His family was so devastated but jay seemed to take it the worst, he would just hold himself up in his room for days at a time and wouldn’t even speak about James to anyone. As will got older his parents had explained what had happened to James and will couldn’t help but feel that there had been more to the story than anyone knew. Once he asked jay about carter and jay had beat the crap out of him and told him to never mention that name again and will hadn’t tried to talk to jay again about carter. When will walked up to intelligence hailey saw him and led him into the break room.  
“I’m guessing you’re here to see jay” hailey said while beginning to make herself a tea  
“Yeah, where is he?” Will asked because he hadn’t seen jay when he came in   
“Voight told him to take some time off because of the case we’re working” hailey answered in sad tone, she was still having trouble with processing what jay had told her last night   
“You mean carter’s murder? I saw it in this morning’s paper” will sighed   
“Yes and Jay told me about James. I’m sorry” hailey told him in a kind tone  
“Thanks but I’m surprised he told you because he hardly ever mentions James name” will replied not knowing how much she actually knew  
“He is in a really dark place at the moment” hailey finished making her tea and sat down at the table  
“”Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of. I better go and check on him”  
Will said while making a list in his head of places jay could be. Hailey just nodded and walked him out.  
Jay woke up to the sound of someone knocking on his door. Jay had only gotten a few hours of sleep and had a wicked hangover so hoped that whoever was knocking would just give up and go away but then he heard will calling his name, so decided to answer the door in case it was important.  
“Man, you look like hell” will said when he saw the state jay was in   
“Thanks, what’s so important you woke me up?” Jay answered in a sarcastic tone because he wasn’t in the mood for company   
“I read about carter’s murder in the paper this morning” will stated watching closely for jay’s reaction   
“Yeah, I still can’t believe they let him out early, he should have died in prison” jay said while getting himself a glass of water. When he turned back to will he noticed how his brother couldn’t look him in the eyes, he sighed and asked “you think I did it don’t you?”  
“I don’t want to but yeah because I know how much you hated him”will admitted  
“Do you really blame me? After what he did” jay snapped before going into his bedroom to change his shirt.  
“No I don’t but it’s why I didn’t tell you he was out” will said knowing jay could hear him in the other room. Jay froze at will’s word before storming back into the living room furious  
“Are you telling me you know that pervert was out and you didn’t tell me?” Jay yelled causing will to take a step back afraid of the anger in jay’s face   
“Yes because I knew how you would react” will said in a apprehensive tone.  
“How long?” Jay asked as his hands balled into fists  
“Jay” will said in an attempt to calm his brother down   
“How long?” Jay asked again but louder this time   
“I knew when aunt Alice got the letter informing her of his release” will said knowing that jay would see this as a betrayal  
“So 7 months” jay said in disgust before walking out the door without looking back at will.  
Jay drove to Molly’s in a daze still unable to believe that will had kept the fact carter was out from him. Will claimed to know how jay felt but there’s was no way he could. Jay just kept thinking about what if carter had hurt another boy since getting out of prison because paedophiles never change. Once he got to a Molly’s he sat at the bar and started ordering one beer after another.   
It was a couple of hours later when a customer at Molly’s got a bit to loud that things come to a head. When the customer wouldn’t leave when Herman asked, jay decided to get involved to help Herman out but really it was just a excuse. Ever since he had seen carter’s body jay feeling the same anger and guilt he had felt whenever he was reminded of James. Which led jay to being like a bomb waiting to explode and now he had a excuse for a fight that jay had needed but once jay started to hit the guy, something in jay’s mind snapped and he saw carter’s in stead of a stranger. So Herman had to pull jay off the guy before jay killed him.  
After jay was pulled off the guy, jay just stood there not really seeing or hearing what was going on around him. After Herman had talked the guy out of calling the police, he turned to jay about to go off at him for starting trouble but the words died on Herman’s lips when he saw the glazed look in jay’s eyes.  
“Hey jay, you okay?” Herman asked in concern because he had see that glazed look before, on firefighters who had seen too much and were heading towards burn out. Herman was always grateful for Cindy and the kids because even though working on the front lines of Chicago was a dark job his family would always be the light that guides him. When Jay didn’t replied to Herman he decided to call hailey to pick jay up because no one should be alone in this kind of state.  
Hailey kept looking over at her partner as she drove him home, because she has never seen him like this before and it was scaring her.  
“Jay talk to me” she pleaded with him when the silence got to much for her   
“I know I lost it back there but I’m fine” jay said while starring out the window, but they both knew that it was a lie because he was anything but fine. When hailey had dropped him off and made sure he was okay, hailey made the decision to tell voight everything because maybe he could get through to jay.  
Jay was watching a football game when he heard a knock at his door, jay sighed because he wished everyone would just leave him alone but that didn’t seem likely so he got up and answered the door. Jay was surprised to see voight standing there but let him in anyway.  
“What brings you here?” Jay asked while he turned off the tv  
“Hailey told me about you connection to carter” voight said in the same voice he used with victims because that was what jay was  
“So what if I played for him a million years ago?” Jay challenged his boss  
“I also know about your cousin James” voight answered him. jay collapsed onto the couch and put his head in his hand, while he and voight didn’t share a close relationship jay respected the hell out of his boss and now voight knew he was nothing but a failure. Voight just sat across from jay and waited for the younger man to compose himself.  
“So you’re here for what? To tell me that I screwed up or how James death is my fault?” Jay asked head still in his hands. Voight took a deep breath because he could see hailey had been right Jay was in a very dark place.  
“No because carter’s actions are not your fault” voight tried to comfort jay  
“You don’t know anything” jay snapped before getting up and going to stand by the window.  
“From what hailey told me, it sounds like nobody not even his parents picked up on the abuse so why is it your fault?” Voight said remaining calm because he knew what it was like to blame yourself for a death of a love one. After Justin had died voight had blamed himself for a long time, thinking that if he had done this or that differently then his son would still be alive but eventually Daniel Charles helped hank to come to terms with Justin’s death and to stop blaming himself. Voight just hoped he could do the same for jay  
“I knew something was wrong with James but I didn’t do anything” jay said starring out the window   
“You tried everything you could from what I heard, what more could you have done?” voight said his heart breaking for how much pain jay was in  
“If I wasn’t so stupid, if I told james then maybe-“ jay broke off unable to continue   
“Told him what?” Voight asked because hailey had said jay hadn’t been one of carter’s victims  
“Doesn’t matter now” jay whispered unable to speak about the one thing he had never talked about   
“Jay were you abused by carter” voight asked in a cold voice as he got angry at the thought of jay suffering at carter’s hands   
“No it wasn’t like that” jay said not really sure how to explain it because what he told hailey had been the truth carter never actually touched him.  
“Then what was it like?” Voight sat up straighter knowing that there was jay hadn’t told hailey about. Jay turned around to face voight and prepared to tell his boss his most shameful secret  
“One day in practice Someone tackled me and I landed on my knee wrong and carter took me into his office to access if I needed to see a doctor or not. He decided I didn’t need a doctor but he said he should rub some cream on it and I let him. But when he was rubbing it on my leg I got this really bad feeling so I made a excuse and left. The next time I had practice he acted like nothing had happened and I thought I had overreacted because he was looking out for me but if I had of told someone then maybe I don’t know” voight closed his eyes in pain upon hearing this because even though jay had gotten away, What carter had almost done that day to jay had scared jay’s soul.  
“That doesn’t make you responsible for carter’s actions, you were a teenager who trusted his coach” voight said in a calm voice but voight was anything but calm.  
“Maybe but I still should have told someone”  
“Then James is to blame as well because he didn’t tell anyone either” voight said hating himself for saying it but he needed to make jay understand that jay had been a victim just like his cousin   
“How dare you? Carter was a a sick bastard who took advantage of him, James was a victim” jay yelled as he attacked voight and pinned him against the wall  
“Exactly James was just a kid who wasn’t to blame, don’t you see your a victim too even though carter never abused you” voight told jay not even trying to fight jay. Jay started sobbing as he saw the truth in voight words. Voight then held jay as he broke down completely, voight knew jay was going to need a lot of support coming to terms with the truth and voight would be there every step of the way.

The next few months were hard for jay as he began seeing dr Charles to begin the healing process. Voight closed case on   
the carter’s murder because his killer had done the world a favour. Over time jay reconnected with his aunt and uncle who supported him when told the truth by jay.


End file.
